Do you ever think you are just talking to yourself or a brick wall and no one hears anything you’re saying? Like you can physically see your words hit them in the face and bounce off. I can see them drip down faces that stare blankly up at me. So infuriating! I don’t think that anyone is listening to what I have to say. It does not matter how I say it or what I do… no one cares or at least if feels this way.

With seemingly no one but my husband and me caring about the state of our home or the troubles outside of it, We are left with a mess of backed up work and fears for the future. I promise you if/when things go badly in the world, eyes will be opened and ears will wish they had listened. I find this to be true in my own past and perhaps this is where the fear rests for my family. That I will not be able to get them ready for what may come because for some reason my words are empty and void of meaning or value in their lives.

I did not listen to the people in my life that were trying to help me and because of it, I allowed myself to be hurt and used and spit back out. Now I have a whole family that does not want to take my words seriously. Perhaps I wasted too much time sitting atop the fence and created a person in unstable ways. Someone that was tossed about by every wind.

I honestly have no idea why everyone seems to be ignoring what I have to say or what I know to be true. Maybe it is my over inflated need to be heard that drives me to have these emotions. Either way I am drowning in a sea of foolishness and there does not seem to be any sign of it ending anytime soon.

Galatians 6:7-9
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Not Today Satan

Ephesians 6:11-18
Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

Today is one of those days where I find it very hard to settle my mind. There are a million things going south in the world and the peace inside my home seems to have gone with it. I don’t know if it is the spirit of disobedience or if it is from my own actions of disobedience or a terrible combo of both. Either way, Satan cannot have this day!

I will not allow him to sit on my back and laugh as I lose my mind over vain things. It is not important I guess if people do not want to listen. After all, it is not my job to police them, only love them and love covers a multitude of sins. Ask me how I know.

For now, I am just going to take this day for what it was… a day. One of the Lord willing many more and in the end I will have nothing to prove to anyone because the King of kings will say His peace and all else matters not at all. I will reflect on the lessons I have learned about myself from the trials and tests that came my way today and allow the Lord to wash me clean of anything He does not like.

Until next I write I pray you have faced whatever trials came your way with grace and resting in the Lord. Until next I write, I love you all and stay peculiar! Please like share and comment if the Lord leads you to do so.