How often in life do we allow our pasts to hold us back? We think about events that happened to us, whether we caused them or not, and feelings of guilt, shame and not being good enough flood back in. The pains of yesterday can cause our hearts to carry bitterness and hate in places we didn’t even know they could be. Hidden in the depths of our souls, silently raging war on our eternal life. The sins of the past, especially if they are unresolved, will cause pain and suffering. The devil will whisper all sorts of things to you and you will start to believe them rather than argue it. He will remind you of all the ways you messed up and all the things you have done. If you are studying your Bible, the Holy Spirit is giving you more understanding, and now you feel even worse than you did before because your mindset has been twisted by sin. A feeling of hopelessness sets in and you feel there is no way you can ever be good enough for the Lord and there is a part of you that knows this is true. It’s like a nightmare in your mind and this is where the devil will leave you. Floundering in a pool of bitter hopelessness. But remember my beloved, we walk in the righteousness of Jesus, we are covered by His blood, He is the Lamb of God. It’s not us. No we will never be perfect and you can thank Jesus for being perfect. We are to press on to perfection but we will never have it until Jesus comes back to get us.

The Bible says in Matthew 15:18-19 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These feelings WILL come out and they WILL create chaos in you home, work and in your everyday life. They will take you into dark places and they will take your loved ones with you… ask me how I know. I understand this is a bold statement but I think that at least 50% of clinically diagnosed depression is nothing more than living with this very thing. Don’t misunderstand, it is still a very real issue but it can’t be balanced with medication, which is why I think medicines don’t always work on it. It’s not a matter of a chemical imbalance, it is a heart issue. There is something eating at the soul.

We want to make sure that we don’t allow the horrors that others are capable of to get into who we are and make us cold. We don’t want to be the kind of christian that forgets where they came from. This will cause us to be self-righteous and to live with no compassion or understanding. Imagine the letters Paul could have written sitting in prison if he had not been resting in the Lord! Imagine the letters we would write. In Paul’s day, Christians were being fed to lions and burned alive for the entertainment of others… our lives could be harder. Scripture tells us that we are new in Him and as I have said before, technically, those things are gone now, they exist no more! If God does not remember our past anymore then who are you to hold that against yourself? Keep the lesson not the mistake and let it go!

Yes, the times we find ourselves in seem hopeless and dark and all around us things are uncertain. So many people will not be ready for what is coming but we can be. We can keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and walk through the storm that is brewing. We CAN trust that the Lord has us and that He knows what He is doing. For me, this means I will continue to live my life until the Lord calls us home or death allows me rest. I have a life to enjoy and to plan for. Yes, for me this means things like food storage and water, planning my garden for the spring and gutting out my house in a whirl of scrubbing bubbles. Fall cleaning is a blast! This past week has been extremely challenging. We have a spider infestation! I mean when I say we have spiders… I don’t think you understand… they are EVERYWHERE! I figured I would let all of you know part of the reason I was unable to do the Bible study this week. I have a very healthy and somewhat founded fear of spiders. Okay, I really only like them because God made them. Everything about them creeps me out… eww… just eww. Needless to say, I have been swamping my house out very carefully. Bleh. Confession, I am a pack rat… the spiders set up well in my home. It has been a task to rid myself of some of this stuff. A lesson as well. If I have so much stuff that I have to keep it in boxes… why do I have it? Just for the sake of having it? No, not anymore. There are others that can use these things that I have in boxes. I am just going to get rid of it. No yard sales, no nothing just find someone and give it to them. I obviously don’t need it or I would have had it out where I could get to it.

We are to plan accordingly to what we see happening in the world, as Joseph did when God gave dreams to the pharaoh. He did not sit idle and claim the Lord would provide a way. No, he put all the extra grains in storage and planned accordingly. However, he didn’t pace the floor late at night or fret over the coming drought. He trusted that the lord had given him time to prepare for the days ahead. Be a busy bee but don’t forget to live while you survive. Keep your relationship with the Lord ever growing, read your Bible, and be kind to one another. Even if you have to correct someone. You can do it in love and not in condemnation. We are all in this together and we are all going to the same place if we are resting in Christ and if you’re not we all want you to be. Loving the Lord is not for the faint of heart but it is all at the same time.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Until next I write, stay peculiar!

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