Welcome into the peace and love of the Father, brothers and sisters. I am so very glad that the Lord has seen you through another day.
“They’ll be no tribble at all.” – Scotty
Today, is one of those days I woke up to terrible. Yes, it was horrible. Let me give you the back story to this horror show I was subjected to with my first breath… You see, it all started with the desire of a man to bring happiness into his wife’s life. She desperately wanted a sweet kitty to call her own. So naturally when he heard that some kittens were on death row, he immediately thought of his wife. The drive was a long one, over rivers, mountains and valleys wide they traveled. Hours passed and snacks were consumed, everyone waiting to pick the best one.
Upon arrival, they all looked so cute and if a home was not found, they would be sent into the blackness of eternal sleep. Which one, which one thought the wife as the children caught each potential family member and brought them to her. How could she choose just one? All of them were so frightened and alone, without hope. She would take them all if she could. But this was not an option, she must make a choice.
Four cats later they were back in their car, headed back over rivers, mountains and valleys wide they traveled homeward with the little furry cuties. Little did we know that what we had actually adopted were Tribbles. Cute little balls of fur that multiply at an astounding rate. They will eat you out of the house and home before you know it and it will happen before you can blink. AND this is exactly what happened. I have eleven outside cats and three indoor kittens… Yes, fourteen cats. I never actually thought I would become a crazy cat lady but here I am and I love them all… unconditionally…
It was a catastrophe!
This morning upon opening my eyes and taking the first sweet conscious breath, a pungent and powerful burning smell took over my lungs. I sat up in bed with a wrinkled nose and a scowl on my face. Someone let the tom cats in last night and they must have gone to every corner of my room. Because you know, I am the mom, so I belong to all three of them and it literally smelt like they had a spraying contest in the middle of the night. I just can’t
So once again I found myself learning a lesson about unconditional love. Animals are completely innocent on these things and so it is what it is. We can’t allow the actions of others to dictate our peace. Not even animals and their mess. Once the toms were all put out and fed, I did feel better but what a morning! The Lord took over and thank you Jesus, I only lit one ciggy so far but did not end up smoking it. However, some may disagree but it smelled better than what the cats had done!
God will destroy the body to get to the soul… or does He just let us do what we please until it hurts so badly we turn to him. In my life it has seemed like the latter… He allowed me to go down some pretty dark paths in order to bring me to the full understanding that I cannot save myself and I cannot rush Gods timing and that He must be Lord of every thing in my life. I have no idea what I am doing. I have a lot of failures under my belt.
I think one of the things that bothers me so much is the fact that I have let my emotions control me. I did not have self-discipline of my own, I didn’t have self-control of my own and because of this, I caused a lot of damage in my home… with my mouth and the ugliness of my soul. Scripture says that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. I used to believe this was what happened when a person was drunk or messed up on something. However, the Last few years have humbled me in ways only the Lord could have done.
Everyone asks the question what is your biggest regret in life?
It is how selfish I have been both inwardly and in my actions. I lived this life for myself and only myself.
I never actually lived my life for the Lord. I had good deeds and I had good intentions and I had religion and a shiny little Christian Club Coin. (No, to the best of my knowledge, these are not a thing) but I didn’t have Jesus. The thing is, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew my life was far from the Lord. I just didn’t want to give up my will. I can remember when my boys were young and I would have them pray for me because I was told that my sins now separated me from God, because I was willfully sinning. I figured the Lord could hear the voices of the innocent. After all, their angels always behold the face of the Father.
Fear because I knew I was wrong and would be judged. I had been a lukewarm Christian, I had the “I grew up in church” religion. I knew the stuff I was doing was messed up. I wanted what I wanted and I didn’t care what anyone else wanted. Not even God. I figured if I did something wrong I could always ask for forgiveness. (And then condemned the Lutherans… shameful.) I was out chasing my dream or what I thought was my dream. I was so foolishly retarded. The fact is that I have always allowed my emotions to control me. Always. The main one was fear. Fear for as long as I have memories.
I think of Daniel or the three young men that went into the fire. They did not allow their emotions to take over or to control their thoughts. IF Daniel had allowed fear to rule him, the lions would have torn him apart. Instead, I imagine he went praying the whole time and accepting the will of the Most High over his own. The three boys are not recorded as fighting the guards and throwing hands. No, they also have accepted the Fathers will in their lives. Come what may. It didn’t matter the outcome. Their lives were not their own. He belonged to God and his Master was allowed to do with him as He saw fit. A humble and obedient servant is what the Lord wants. A broken and contrite spirit. Obedience is far better than sacrifices. For as much as I would love to say I would do anything the Lord asks… would I or would fear wash over me and I buckle under pressure?
I look around the world today and I see what is happening. Wars and rumors of wars, nation against nation, family against family… you know biblical stuff. I could write a whole post on the things that are happening and continue to unfold on a daily, that are as biblical as they come. I know, no one thinks its going to happen to them right? Well, unless you’re an Acts type christian because even in those days, they were looking for Him to come back. It’s been almost 2000 years later. His coming is not further away but closer and closer with each passing day. I don’t know about all of you but I have not had the honor or the burden to know the exact day that the Lord will return. However I do know just based off common sense that we are closer then any of the past believers have ever been and we now have created an environment perfect for the rise of the beast system and its leader.
This has led me down some pretty dark allies in my thought life and also to some very solid ground. Until next I write, my beloved family, as always, stay peculiar! Feel free to like and share this if the Lord leads you to do so. Leave a comment below and let me know how you’re doing on your Three days Dead. At the end of the day I might have smoked four. Not as good as yesterday but not as bad as Monday
This is a very brave post! It was very helpful for me to read this because I have been going through similar situations. Love you…keep fighting the good fight!
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Thank you so much for letting me know I am not alone… I know that I am not but at times this walk can be lonely. May the Father shine upon you, giving you wisdom and discernment.
Thank you for sharing 😊