And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: all these evil things come from within, and defile the man.
Mark 7:20‭-‬23 KJV

Hello brothers and sisters! How wonderful it is that the Lord protected you and kept you another day! I am always so glad to have you back here with me and my rambling mind. This one is going to be a little darker than I normally do. Stay with me please and it wont stay dark. So, let us dive in.

In my searching one of the things that I have learned is that demons and the spiritual realm are a real thing and I would argue are more real than this “world”. This will pass away and burn up, we all die at some point and to everything in it’s season and so on. However, the spiritual realm will continue on. What this truly means I have yet to find out but I know that where the Father is… that is real.

That being said, I have discovered that one of the biggest enemies of the Christian heart is envy and jealousy… ask me how I know.

En·vy

/ˈenvē/

noun

a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.

Jeal·ous

/ˈjeləs/

adjective

feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages

feeling or showing suspicion of someone’s unfaithfulness in a relationship

So yesterday I had a hard conversation with the Father about my spiritual health. I know there is something that has been holding me back and I just couldn’t put my finger on it but I knew it had to be a big one as it was impacting my life in a major way. Even if no one else could see it, which they undoubtedly did but no one said anything. (Please note I am not claiming that I only have one issue… no, I have a subscription) I asked a very specific question yesterday in raw openness and the Lord answered me the very next day.

Have you ever sat under a sermon that felt like it was custom made just for you? I thought in the past that I had, I was wrong, so very wrong. Okay so maybe I was right then as well but this sermon really was! The thing is this one stomped on my toes and it hurt. I was open and raw and frankly kind of rude while talking to the Father and He answered in kind firmness. I have lived a life of jealousy and envy in more ways than I understood and as the preacher was saying… it WAS destroying my life.

The reasons behind my jealousy and envy are countless but truly only stem from not being content with the way the Lord had made me and it went from there. Slow at first, starting with my children but once I married my husband… those traits in me were magnified. I had found a man that loved me and he was a good guy… I became very “protective” over him and due to life over time it became all consuming.

Please don’t misunderstand, I am no longer a raging lunatic over my husband or children but I still have seeds of envy and jealousy that come up every now and again. I have tolerated those feelings with the mindset that it was only natural to have these feelings as a human. Perhaps it is but the cost to one’s soul is not worth it.

As I listened to the preacher teach about the effects that envy and jealousy have on the soul, I saw a mirror reflecting my own heart. Even if it was contained, the Lord could see it and always had. This morning was a hard saying yet I have to praise the Lord for His quick response even if it is painful. Bitter truth always is but fortunately the Lord is faithful to forgive.

Someone told me once that these emotions have demons attached to them or at least ones that feed off the emotion… that made my creative mind cringe as images of happy little fat demons danced in my imagination. Fat off the negative emotions I have had in my lifetime. Kinda creepy honestly. Anyway, this image completely repulsed me to the core. Things have to change. Both spiritually and in the physical realm.

The Weapons of Joy

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
2 Corinthians 9:7 KJV

Generosity

 Generous

/ˈjen(ə)rəs/

adjective

(of a person) showing a readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected.

I have found that if you stop thinking about yourself and start doing things for others… you start to feel better. Many others have told me the same thing. Many people suffering from depression have found that simply helping others did more good for them than anything they had ever tried. I know this is true for me. However, unless we deal with the things that cause envy, we are only sweeping the problem under the rug.

How does envy affect our daily lives if we really think about it. Maybe they are not things easily seen by others but we each have the Holy Spirit to bring to mind all the people and things we have envied over the years. It comes out of us in bitterness, contempt and hate. If it has not yet, it will. Envy and jealousy go hand in hand. They are like an evil couple. Where one is, you’re bound to find the other.

We have all read the head lines and watched the news about the jealous husband that shot his wife, I personally lived in an apartment where a woman ran over her husband because of jealousy… yeah, ran him over… twice! These are extreme but I don’t think if you talked to the murderer or the driver of the car that they would say it was all a part of the plan. No one thinks they are going to be the one to pull the trigger but we are only human and if we don’t take it to the Lord in prayer and leave it at his feet, these emotions will lead us down really dark paths.

There is a joy that comes with helping others that cannot be put into words really. knowing that your hands were blessed enough to help someone less fortunate or in some cases just as unfortunate as you, yourself have been… It’s a joy all its own. Then add in the fact that every time you help someone else, you are helping Jesus… that is a beautiful thought!

I like to think of the little fat demons of Envy and Jealousy sitting down to feast on my negative emotions this morning and finding little generosity beetles all up in their meal! May it repulse them as much as they (envy and jealousy) have repulsed me.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; And lean not unto thine own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5 KJV

Trust

/trəst/

noun

firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

You can’t be jealous of the people you trust and you can’t say you trust someone and be jealous. There is no way around it. Speaking from experience, jealousy truly will steal your joy and happiness and it will do it while your eyes are wide open. One of the most important things I have learned in the last few years is how to truly be content with what I have, who I am in the Lord and His hand in my life. However, that being said, just as I thought I was learning how to trust people, I find jealousy to be a big indicator that I still don’t trust and why is this?

It is due in part to my own insecurities. This is something that I have known but walking the talk is another matter altogether. Also from life events the likes of which are prone to happen to anyone of us. Once the Holy Spirit opened my understanding to this truth, it has been bumpy but I have been learning to love myself for the way God created me and not the way the world wanted to make me.

I understand now why Jesus said;

…Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:3 KJV

There really is a renewal of the mind that has to take place. We have to lean on the Lord’s understanding and choose to believe the Father over the top of the world. Doubt has no place in the heart of a believer. The Father is not a man that He should lie and He is faithful and true to His word. He said He called you, He said you are loved, He said you are wanted and a pearl of great price. Not because you are worthy, not because you have wonderful works before the Lord but because you trust in Him…Abraham believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness.

Even as Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness. Know ye therefore that they which are of faith, the same are the children of Abraham. And the scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the heathen through faith, preached before the gospel unto Abraham, saying, In thee shall all nations be blessed. So then they which be of faith are blessed with faithful Abraham.
Galatians 3:6‭-‬9 KJV

It is my opinion that this is the reason why Satan works so hard on our trust. Making it seemingly impossible to trust another or even ourselves. This then makes it hard to trust God. For whatever reason we always want to view God through the lens of our hurt here on earth. The truth is far from it. In fact, I am sure if you ask the Lord to show you all the ways He has been with you it would blow your mind and humble you. There are many times in my life where the Lord helped me and I was not even for Him at the time. I will pray for our faith family, that it remains ever growing in the knowledge and understanding of the Father.