As far as the east is from the west, So far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:12 KJV

Hello family, I am so glad that you have made it through the last few days and the Lord has watched over you! I am blessed to have you back with me and my random thoughts. This post will be very fast as I have other things that need tending but I want to address a question that was asked.

Does anyone else beat themselves up over the past? This is the question I was asked this morning. I have to admit, I have had my own battles with the demons of self torture. I will stand by the fact that I think that is exactly what it is… a demon or two. I was consumed for years over the should haves of life and no matter how many tears I wet my bed with, nothing changed anything I had done or neglected over the years. I was tormented by the failings of my past. There were nights I could not sleep and the pain of the past was almost more than I could bear.

Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?
Ecclesiastes 1:2‭-‬3 KJV

This is one of the reasons I love Ecclesiastes so much. I could write my own book about the sorrows of life that we inflict upon ourselves and I just might but this is not the end of the line. It is okay to fail. The sole purpose of memory is to remind us of what to do and what not to do. It is not there to remember the good, bad or ugly moments in life so that we can dwell on them and become bitter which leads us to becoming cruel.

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: But the wicked shall fall into mischief.
Proverbs 24:16 KJV

To succeed is to fail. If all the great minds of yesterday had given up at the first hint of hardship, we would not have all the inventions of today. If the men that climbed Mount Everest had given up at the first “graveyard” they came across on the mountain – they would not have the wild tales they have. I have lived a life of fear for one reason or another and I can tell you that it is not worth it. Safety is not worth it. Yes, we will make mistakes along the way but that is a part of it all.

Life is painful and you’re never faced with a good decision over a bad one… no they are all horrible. You have one shaky and questionable choice over an equally as wobbly second choice or third… My point is that we have to take the lesson from that and let the rest of it go. Learn how to see mistakes as opportunities rather than the end of it all. This all takes time and forgiveness towards yourself. First the Father forgave you and next to Him we have no say. Secondly, you are worth forgiving.

being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:
Romans 3:24 KJV

Sometimes we can look back over our lives and wish a great many things were different than they are. However, no amount of beating yourself up is going to change what has been. The only thing we can worry about is today and the future. I have found to avoid falling into a pit where we are mentally attacked by demons of the shoulda, coulda woulda type. Yes they are nasty but they are not greater than Jesus. We have less regret in life if we just stop doing what we know is wrong. Start small. Don’t make impossible goals for yourself but work on at least one thing every week and then maintain said thing.

casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 5:7‭-‬11 KJV

We all have that little voice in the back of our head that tells us we probably should not do that thing and if we don’t listen to it we feel the guilt of it. Over time these things add up and once we are still enough to look back over our lives and we can see how many times we fell short – well it can be crushing. However, this is not the end! Yes, the past sucked for one reason or another, yes life is hard, and no it is not going to get any better. (I know I should be a motivational speaker right…)

…Behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you.
Proverbs 1:23 KJV

You are stronger than you know… people were made to tackle big problems and to push past our fears and to rise above the horrors and sins of our fathers. We were made to do all of this and much more. Most importantly we were made to love God and with Him as your father… not even the sky is the limit! This life is a beautiful tragedy and it is worth living!